Monday, October 6, 2008

no puff... no bluff!!!

"to issmoke arr not to issmoke" is the question my paanwaala presented before me.

"whaa...?" i was caught unawares. rhetorical questions do that to you.
tongue tied, confused and an impulsive 'what the fuck' goes through your mind. 
i hate such rhetorical questions. especially this one.
it took me time to realize that Jeetu Bhai wasn't being the rhetorical relative, but actually posed a question with a direct and a poker straight face. this one wasn't a rhetorical bummer.

"cigeret pina ki nai peena?"

me- "err.. peena?" i was hoping it was the right answer.

"kaunn decide karegaa?"


"toh gavermeynt kahe sunavat hai???"
mustache bristling with discontent and anger Jeetu bhai resembled a disgruntled farmer during the British Raj.

"hamaar dhandha chaupat hui gava! hume chota aadmi ko kauno dekhat nahee" he lamented.
"aaj log saala cigeret peente to lagat hai charas ganja mar rahe... itna chup chup ke karna padta hai"

i nodded my 'sar' in agreement. off late, i had been smoking like a crack junkie dying for a fix inside a dilapidated building. only, with me it wasn't the dilapidated building, it was the neighbour's Innova. 

When i was asked about my opinion on the ban-
"well... the move by the government was a good decision."

of course i said that. i mean come on; would i want to look like a sick selfish bastard by saying that the government screwed up?

now if i were to speak honestly, the ban IS bullshit.
people urinate and defecate which, apparently; is tolerable when compared to smoking. 
I'm not trying to be cynical but then again, answering nature's persistent calls was banned ages ago.

When the ban was imposed i admit i was angry. if my parents, relatives, neighbours, well wishers... weren't enough, now i had to hide from the civic authorities too.
great. i was low on exercise anyway.
however, the anger had a much different reason.


democracy is all about choice is it not?
why then, should the government decide my smoking habit.

again, at the risk of being branded a selfish addict and a cynical ch**, i say, 

"condom de band??? nahi nahi.. use kar lena chahiye... government kehta hai humko....aids vaids..."

 Jeetu bhai had a point. the government said a lot of things. 

i still had my choice though.

"ek cigarette dena..."